Hey Singles… and Single again Christians… Adultery hurts deep, and it destroys relationships….And sadly this type of destruction of a relationship happens to often these days, (worse it even happens at times among church leadership) and forgiveness is a hard thing to “give” others at times… But learn this: When I forgive others; Forgiveness ONLY frees “me”…not them.
If I forgive them, it allows me to move forward and be truly free and not grow bitter! If I allow root of bitterness grow, it causes other fruit to hang around I don’t want too! (See Eph 4:31-32) When I’m walking in “forgiveness” toward them that harmed me, now their sin that caused me pain, has no more place in my emotions, or mind.
In cancelling the debt we felt was owed us, we let them go, and now they can be dealt with by God…not by me or others trying to make them accountable.( Only Holy Spirit convicts of sin) But I can NOW go freely and get what ever I need from God, and that past thing with them is over.. I forget it, Like God…not forgotten, but meaning that I just don’t need to ever bring it up again.
Unless of course they accept the forgiveness and also seek the same “from” me.
Then I “could” have restoration of fellowship; But forgiveness, although always required by God, does not necessitate, never “requires fellowship” to be restored with them as well. ( Sometimes we can not. ) Giving forgiveness only makes me healthier, and in fellowship “with” God….always my primary relationship concern as a Christian. And always God’s main concern with us!
And maybe my “action” of “giving” them forgiveness, (even if they never ask me too ) may allow them to see their “sin” and repent, and recognize their need for God’s love …which is the only love that never leaves you or forsakes you. And He is the only one that fills the void in the heart which drives people to seek love in all the wrong places, from all the wrong people…. Hell sadly, will be full of these people…unless they can see Jesus (in us) and also turn to Him to receive forgiveness of their sins from Him!
UNforgiveness is the ONE thing “we” can control and hold on too, that can “keep us” from holding “everything”, that God wants to give us, …”when” we let God be in control. (Mat 6:15);
ALL love is of God and when your in relationship with Him…He is faithful forever, He will always love you, always accept you, and always forgive you. When you do things His way, He takes care of you completely and protects you… and He is your integrity… and protector of it that too. (Psalm 25:20-21; Psalm 37:7-9)
I would personally blame a husband more, who allows himself to take advantage of a temptation that avails it’s self to him, which brings harm to his bride and his family….And definitely himself! As God says He is being led to destruction, which any man with a wife, already KNOWS he will be in mega trouble if caught! He was not ignorant of the potential cost, he can see it coming, and so he tries to hide it, or cast blame on everyone else when found out…Besides God said your sins will always find you out … But the husband ( or the spouse allowing this) realizes and sees what is coming…
Prov5:4-6Nasb- “For the lips of an adulteress drip honey
And smoother than oil is her speech;
4 But in the end she is bitter as wormwood,
Sharp as a two-edged sword.
5 Her feet go down to death,
Her steps take hold of Sheol.
6 She does not ponder the path of life;
Her ways are unstable, she does not know it.”…..
But notice God says the adulteress woman walking her way and leading the man to destruction is deceived, it says she really “does not know it.” …He only “acted” ignorant…she was truly blind. But I must forgive them both to receive everything I need from the Father and then decide if I can, or should restore the fellowship, or just move on to receive the best God has planned for me.(Eph 2:10) apart from them… (It is always our choice to walk in God’s plan…or take a detour!)
And I should really feel great sorrow for both participants in adultery; Because Hell is: “Eternal” place of complete separation from God, in a suffocating, burning blackness forever. I would not wish it on even my enemies no matter what’s been done to me.
The reason the disciples were able to take the punishment they “all” did, and in the end be killed for teaching about Jesus even to “their enemies”, was because they had personally known Jesus, and they saw Him ascend to heaven…and therefore knew Hell was also a certainty. Except for Paul who met Jesus personally, seeing Him as light and hearing Him. And received His Holy Spirit sent from Father. And so they all gave their lives to help people avoid hell… Meaning they also had to forgive a whole lot of hurtful things done to them. (Mat 5:44-45)..Says bless your enemies, do good to those who persecute you. …So that you act like children of God.
Forgiveness allows you to say good things, and do good things toward your enemies… to “bless them”…even those who harmed you deeply and personally. Allowing them to see God’s work is real. And hopefully stopping their feet from taking hold of Hell. “Sheol”. …A very real place.
Because I know hell is very real, I can forgive them and move forward…. “forgetting” what lies behind, and looking at what lies ahead”. ( Philip 3:13) Paul wrote that, the Apostle who “Jewish historians” believe might have been divorced as well;
“But Paul himself never mentions it in the bible.”… Maybe it’s because he understood forgiveness and learned how to love his enemies….Uummm
It’s like the old saying goes …If you cannot think of something good to say about someone, don’t say anything at all.
So make sure you have really let go of what you “feel” was “owed you”,.. You know you have forgiven when you don’t think of being somehow repaid; Then you can use both hands, and ALL your heart to chose to receive everything that God wants you to walk in!… What’s that?
Gal5:22-23Amp- “But the fruit of the [Holy] Spirit [the work which His presence within accomplishes] is love, joy (gladness), peace, patience (an even temper, forbearance), kindness, goodness (benevolence), faithfulness,
23 Gentleness (meekness, humility), self-control (self-restraint, continence). Against such things there is no law [that can bring a charge].” …That’s a lot of good stuff from God! And go read (Deut 28:1-14) bunch more good stuff!….ALL that along with eternal life in Christ, and heaven as our kingdom home with OUR Father God!
I “see” that as, Waaaay better than hell! And why can I talk about this?…I think, cuz I am divorced (2008), a single parent; And because God did not ever leave me in the pain, but helped me forgive. Then He went and made me a teaching pastor,… seems like mostly to single adults. God still takes evil and turns it to good when we let Him…Like Joseph…Now there is a lesson on giving forgiveness, letting go, and receiving blessings from God! Gen40-Gen50:26..Uumm. “For the saving of many people” …Joseph said that (Gen50:20 Kjv )
Joseph was a “single” young man threatened with death, tossed in a pit, sold into slavery, almost raped, then falsely accused of trying to make a woman commit adultery, and then cast wrongly into prison, but he learned to forgive and trust God always,… finally promoted to place of great blessing that included a wife and family. But first he had to “learn” that forgiveness kept him free in spite of his environment,, and that it can help save others.
Be Blessed; Stay clearly on the narrow road and remain in the light! Pastor Ernie Harpster